Is Dubai all it seems to be for expat professionals

Taking into account the millions of online advertorials, blogs, articles and expat surveys, would-be expats might well be forgiven for believing Dubai is paradise on earth for every expat professional fortunate enough to land a job in this magical hub of unrestricted consumerism.

However, searching the internet’s endless blogs, forums and social media outlets might just give another, very different, perspective on this desert-locked land of shiny new constructions and manmade islands. To quote an old saying, one man’s meat may well be another man’s poison when it’s applied to the reality of living and working as an expatriate in Dubai. Digging deeper into its darker depths should be done before the contract is signed, especially if you’re female and a trailing spouse.

Firstly, and obviously, it’s hot. Not hot as most people understand the term, but hot as in 120 degrees Fahrenheit and 100 per cent humidity. Even the wind, normally a cause for coolness, is as hot as a full-in-the-face hairdryer with the addition of fine sand which gets everywhere you don’t want it to. Many expats are convinced humans weren’t meant to live here after they’ve unsuccessfully attempted to deal with the lack of shade and shortage of water.

Glamour and glitz come as standard in Dubai, giving a new meaning to that well-known phrase and saying, ‘in your face’, but essentials such as public toilets make the third-world versions seem luxurious by comparison. They’re also hotter than outside, and you’re forced to use them thanks to the gallons of water you’ve consumed just to stay hydrated. Dubai males dress sensibly in large, white sheets with very little underneath, but Westerners are stuck with their usual business attire and its attendant discomforts.

Western women need to get used to being stared at, even if they’re dressed as the local ladies do. Most think it’s creepy, especially if they’re with their husbands in one of the legal hotel bars. If they prefer drinking at home, the husband has to get a liquor license via signed approval from his boss, who’ll also have to be involved when renting property as well as getting a phone and a satellite TV. Once the TV’s sorted, don’t expect up-to-date movies or sitcoms, and even the endless advertisements are repeated ad infinitum.

As regards Dubai’s cost of living, it’s true you can afford a maid, but you might have to save to afford a lettuce! Everything’s imported as, again obviously, large-scale agriculture can be somewhat of a challenge in the middle of a desert. Dubai’s decency laws can cause problems, with ladies of the night easily available but watching naked women on the internet ending in jail.

Driving here is an adventure most expats would happily miss out on, but taking a taxi has its own risks, including ending up where you didn’t want to go. Briefly, Dubai’s caught in an identity crisis, somewhere between a playground for the indecently wealthy and traditional Islam. Its delusions of grandeur aren’t rooted anywhere, with expats needing to stay in their own reality in order to survive the experience.